How to Be Unhappy: A Step-by-Step Guide

Happiness is overrated. Why spend time cultivating joy and fulfillment when you can follow a proven formula for misery? If you’re tired of feeling good and want to ensure a life filled with frustration, anxiety, and discontent, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s your ultimate guide on how to be truly unhappy.

1. Compare Yourself to Others Constantly

The best way to guarantee dissatisfaction is to always measure your life against someone else’s highlight reel. Scroll social media endlessly and remind yourself that everyone else is richer, happier, and more successful than you. Ignore the fact that people only share their best moments online. Focus on their vacations, perfect relationships, and career wins while dwelling on what you lack.

2. Live in the Past or the Future

Happiness thrives in the present moment, so to maintain unhappiness, you should either dwell on past mistakes or worry obsessively about the future. Replay embarrassing moments from years ago, regret missed opportunities, and let guilt consume you. Alternatively, catastrophize about the future—imagine worst-case scenarios and convince yourself they’re inevitable.

3. Hold Onto Grudges

Forgiveness leads to peace, so to stay miserable, hold onto every grievance. Remind yourself daily of how others have wronged you. Replay arguments in your head, fuel your anger, and resist any attempt to let go. Never consider the possibility that people make mistakes or that forgiveness is more for your benefit than theirs.

4. Avoid Gratitude at All Costs

One of the fastest ways to ruin a good mood is to ignore everything good in your life. Take things for granted, complain about what you don’t have, and never stop to appreciate what’s going right. Make sure to focus only on the negative—your job, your family, your health—whatever isn’t perfect, dwell on that.

5. Surround Yourself with Negative People

Seek out friendships with people who complain, gossip, and never take responsibility for their own lives. Avoid anyone who lifts you up or encourages growth. The more time you spend with toxic people, the more they will drag you into their cycle of negativity.

6. Ignore Your Health

Eat junk food, skip exercise, and get as little sleep as possible. Your body and mind are connected, so by neglecting your physical health, you can ensure a steady decline in your mood and energy levels. Drink excessive caffeine, rely on sugar for energy, and ignore hydration. The more tired and sluggish you feel, the easier it will be to spiral into unhappiness.

7. Never Set Boundaries

Say yes to everything, even when you don’t want to. Overcommit yourself, take on everyone else’s problems, and never protect your own time or energy. Let people walk all over you, and then resent them for it. The more you let others dictate your life, the more trapped and unhappy you’ll feel.

8. Chase Perfection

Believe that if you’re not perfect, you’re worthless. Set impossibly high standards for yourself, and when you inevitably fall short, berate yourself mercilessly. Never celebrate small wins because they aren’t “good enough.” Hold yourself to expectations you’d never impose on anyone else.

9. Avoid Doing Things You Enjoy

If something brings you joy, convince yourself that it’s a waste of time. Stop engaging in hobbies or creative pursuits because they aren’t productive. Work nonstop and deny yourself rest or play. The less you engage with activities that nourish your soul, the more unfulfilled you’ll feel.

10. Stay Indoors and Avoid Nature

Fresh air and sunlight have a way of improving mood, so to stay unhappy, make sure to avoid them. Stay cooped up inside, preferably staring at screens all day. If you do go outside, keep your head down and ignore the beauty around you. Dismiss the idea that a simple walk or time in nature could make you feel better.

11. Ruminate on Everything

Overthink every decision and second-guess yourself constantly. If something goes wrong, analyze it repeatedly and blame yourself. If something goes right, find a reason to believe it won’t last. Get stuck in cycles of worry and regret, ensuring you never experience peace of mind.

12. Refuse to Ask for Help

Struggle alone and convince yourself that no one understands you. Never seek support from friends, family, or professionals. Tell yourself that asking for help is a sign of weakness and that you should handle everything on your own. The more isolated you become, the heavier your burdens will feel.

13. Ignore Mindfulness and Meditation

Living in the moment can disrupt unhappiness, so be sure to avoid mindfulness practices. Don’t meditate, don’t practice deep breathing, and definitely don’t observe your thoughts with curiosity. Instead, let your mind run wild with worries and distractions.

14. Believe Everything Your Thoughts Tell You

Take every negative thought at face value. If you think you’re not good enough, assume it’s true. If you believe no one likes you, don’t question it. Never challenge your thoughts or consider alternative perspectives—just accept the worst interpretations as reality.

15. Refuse to Accept Change

Cling to certainty and resist any kind of change, even when it’s inevitable. Fear the unknown and assume that any change will be for the worse. Rather than adapting, complain about how things used to be and wish everything would stay the same forever.

16. Make Life a Competition

Treat life as a constant battle for status, wealth, and recognition. Always compare your achievements to others and feel inadequate when someone does better. See relationships as transactional, only valuable if they bring you something tangible. Measure success in terms of external validation rather than internal fulfillment.

17. Never Laugh at Yourself

Take yourself extremely seriously. Get offended easily and avoid humor, especially at your own expense. Don’t allow yourself to see the absurdity in life or to laugh at your mistakes. The more rigid and self-critical you are, the more miserable you’ll become.

18. Ignore Your Own Needs

Prioritize everyone else over yourself. Always put others first, even when it’s detrimental to your well-being. Ignore your feelings, suppress your needs, and assume self-care is selfish. The more you neglect yourself, the more resentment and exhaustion you’ll accumulate.

19. Keep Chasing Happiness in External Things

Believe that happiness lies in material possessions, achievements, or the approval of others. Convince yourself that once you get that new job, new house, or new relationship, you’ll finally be happy. Ignore the fact that happiness is an inside job and chase fulfillment in all the wrong places.

20. Resist Joy

If something good happens, immediately look for what could go wrong. Downplay happy moments and tell yourself they won’t last. Sabotage opportunities for joy by focusing on what’s missing instead of what’s present.

The Choice is Yours

Hopefully, you recognize the absurdity in this list. The truth is, happiness is often about what we stop doing rather than what we start doing. If you recognize any of these habits in your own life, the good news is that they can be unlearned. The moment you stop doing the things that make you unhappy, you create space for joy, peace, and fulfillment.

So, which will you choose?

If you're having trouble shaking off some of these habits, reach out to me - I can help.

Photo by Daryl Wilkerson Jr: https://www.pexels.com/photo/child-jumping-into-body-of-water-2387702/